3:10pm
There are so many thoughts and emotions that well up in me when I think of 2006. It’s hard to explain and express in words but Lord knows, I’mma try. When God delivers you from Egypt, you just don’t go back. Plain and simple.
Now I’mma try to explain whats going on, cause this here blog is a chronicle of my growth…of the evolution of me. I’m on the brink of something. Change is coming and it’s inevitable therefore I welcome it.
Church- New Year’s Eve
Well I didn’t have any specific plans for that night except watchnight service. It was about time to leave out but the sleep bug hit me so I was in the bed about 10pm. Then my mom’s fiance calls and says that hardly anybody is there *we’ve had some recent scandal* So my mom wanted to go out and support her fiance and I was curious to see what the turnout was like. So we get there and we’re joking the whole way in…I’m talkin bout out right laughin cause in this situation, if ya don’t laugh, you’ll cry. So we make it in and gather ourselves and my mom finds her fiance. I opened the door to the sanctuary and was like ‘yo ma, I’ll see you at home’. So I started to leave but then I turned around and went and sat in the balcony. I head in and the pastor is doing some stoopid dance onstage with his grandson, sends the Bishops hellos from the hospital, and then he goes on to ask for offering/tithes. I couldn’t stand it, so I left. As I was leaving, I had another dramatic exit! As I was walking down the path, the speaker was playing “Noel” and as the tenor hit that high note and the music crescendoed and came to an end. I looked back and swore God was playin a joke on me! It was somethin out a lifetime movie. I smiled as people were headed toward the church and me away. I went home, read a little, opened up a Smirnoff, flipped on the tv to watch the peach drop. I yelled Happy New Year! and texted some people and fell into a coma! Good Times.
Love Handles and Exercise Support
*sigh* Weight. I admit that I’ve let it hold me back. I’m not grotesque, although sometimes it feels as such, but I am overweight. This year, that shall change, it has to. I’ve tried the whole “big gurls rock” mentality…just ain’t me. I want to go to NY&Co and whatnot dammit! I’ve got great fashion sense without the body to put it on *in my opinion* I think what will help is that I have friend who’s coming to GSU who is going to get in the gym with me. We are also going to start a contest. Good stuff! Matter fact, I went to lunch with her today and showed her around campus and whatnot. Good times. I want to set mini goals for myself. I want 15lbs gone by the end of March. I’d like an additional 10lb by June 29th, my 22nd birthday. That will put me at 162lbs by June 29th and 12lbs from my goal weight. I believe I can do it. My schedule allows such a commitment, if I don’t, I’m only harming myself. I need to take care of me. I want to be 76 like my grandma with virtually no health problems except those that come with age. I want to be around for my greatgrand children. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. Period. And dressin cute doesn’t hurt either 
Relationships
*rolls eyes* What relationship? *sigh* In God’s season and timing. But I firmly believe you have to give God something to work with. I know I ain’t ready but that doesn’t stop me from wanting. I know I have some insecurities that would destroy a relationship but that doesn’t stop me from hoping. I’m going to focus more this year on building Serenity up. Last year was a time for emotionaly healing and that was great. I’m still learning and growing but 2006 will be more of a physical year. Ya know, the little things that make women feminine, will get focused on this year. I refuse to go another year not liking what I see in the mirror know full well that with God’s help, it can be changed. I said all that to say, when you become healthier inside and out, you draw that to you. So here’s to a year where the possibility of a healthy relationship is not impossible.
Youth Ministry
*sigh* I at once said that Iwanted to help with a teen program at my church. I have done anything towards that effort. I think I’m headed in a different direction than that right now. I think I’m too Serenity centered at this point to be of any help. Maybe I can get into a mentor program with an elemtary school kid or something. When you deal with teens, you gotta come correct and I don’t think I’m up to that right now. I’ll pray on it.
School & Work
*shakin head* I’ve been takin two classes a semester for awhile now. That must cease immediately! See, I was applying for a full time job but that’s not where it’s at right now. I don’t need the stress plus I wouldn’t be able to take more than two classes a semester and it would take me 4yrs to graduate ontop of the freakin 3yrs I’ve already been in school. No haps man, no haps. So let go of that notion and felt light as a feather going to work. I’m just a student assistant. Ya’ll don’t know how beautiful that is. Student…Assistant. No pressure, just do ya job and go to class. Good stuff. If the new person asks me anything remotely beyond my job description they will get the following automated response: “I’m not sure. Maybe you should ask T”…all while having a nice smile plastered on my face and a dumb sign on my forehead. I refuse to do their job. I’m just a shelver. Soooo in the Fall, I’m going back up to 4classes and I’ll be out this joint in 2 more years. Summer or Fall 2008…here I come!
Prayer
I pray that this year be a blessed one. I pray that I intently listen to Him. Let Him guide my path and order my steps. His will be done in 2006. I pray against the spirits of depression, laziness and procrastination. I will succeed in 2006 and accomplish my goals. I look forward to a year of self discovery and new experiences. I welcome the change that will surely come.
Serenity
