Jesus wept.
I just got done doing a covert operation on a man my cuz is becoming friendly with. Jesus wept.
*moment of silence*
I’m ok now.
No I’m not.
I find myself a lil envious/ definitly sad/ yet suprisingly hopeful.
Envious *not proud of it* - because I’m sitting here like “dang, can I find somebody like that. Clearly my friends are all on the thug tip and put up with the half steppin that is some brothas these days and THEN be talkin bout ‘girl, you need to meet so&so’…um no. ”
Sad - because the dude is 28. With age comes widsom. The longer you live, the more of life you experience and this is what shapes who you are. I’m currently in the 21-25yr old dating range. Maybe I need to aim for the 23-25yr range a lil more. Ya know, they should have graduated and have a job and should be out in the real world learning and expuriencing thangs. Some of these college cats are stuck on stupid and stuck on the video hoe mentality. *shakin head*
Hopeful - because they do exist. Intelligent, Consiously Aware, Christian, Spiritual men do exist and they aren’t all quoting poetry and defying ‘the man’. I will find one God will bring that person into my life at the right season and time. I may have to wade through some people and experience some things but God will bring him when I’m ready. It’s funny, no matter how much I tell myself ‘ you’re only 21 1/2 
’, I still have this desire to give love and be loved. My future husband just don’t know the lengths I would go, to ensure that we had a healthy and loving relationship. I take that back, he does know, b/c I believe that God can be preparing two people for each other and those people have no idea. They just know that it’s time to get ready, for what, they might not know. Aren’t the possibilities wonderful! *I’m such a romantic…and if you tell anybody…be prepared for me to deny your very existence *sigh* All in His timing.
Serenity
