I need to write this down and be done with it. This might not make sense to anyone but me and that’s okay.
I’ve got this new “friend” you see and we haven’t talked in 2days. The last thing he said to me was I’ll call you tomorrow night…it’s 2days later. This seems so, so, so grrrrrrrrrrr, it really shouldn’t matter that I haven’t spoken to him in 2days…we are “just talking”…whatever the hell that means. No committment has been made, we’re just “kickin” it over the phone. I sent him a text message today and he never responded. Grrrrrrr. It may be one of those “he’s just not that into you” moments but then again, am I blowing this out of proportion? After all, I was busy studying and whatnot…not like I have THAT much free time during the week to be sitting on the phone.
Oh that’s another thing. He’s 4hrs away. I’ve done long distance and it didn’t work. One major reason is, that Im not a phone person. I talk with my facial expressions and hands and smiles…you can’t see all that cuteness over the phone! Little pieces of Serenity get lost in translation. The second reason is I would really like to actually kick it with the person I’m “talking to”…whatever the hell that means. I want to physically flirt, I wanna wear a top&jeans that make him wish he knew me better, I ain’t gone lie…I want a makeout session I almost can’t pull away from… I wanna create memories durnit!…and that won’t happen ova da phone, 4hrs away. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Oh and another tidbit…we’ve never met. *shakin head* I know. I promised myself I’d never do that again BUT I know what he looks like, he just doesn’t know what Serenity looks like *as if that makes it better*
The whole not knowing what I look like brings up other insecurities that I’m just too embarassed to type.
I guess the real issue is, do I have personality? Did he give up b/c I had nothing to say on the phone…which often times is the case. This shit keeps happening and it’s getting old!
I swear I’m like a butterfly trying to get out its cocoon. It’s hard people, it’s hard.
Or I could just be blowing this out proportion, he could call tonight, but how would I feel about that?
To be continued…
Serenity
