*sigh* *shakin head* Wisdom. You pray for it, you need it, you recieve it, but when it doesn’t work in your favor, you wanna give it back. You want to go on acting as if what your doing will have a positive end result. You just wanna use autopilot and not think about the consequences down the road.

But, that’s not any kind of life to live. That’s not a smart life, that’s a drama filled life.

Now, I’m working on not pre-judging people based on their differences from me. I didn’t become aware of how severe this was, for me, until about 2weeks ago.

Enter stage right: Mr. Savannah

What can I say? We began talking on the phone, he’s cool people. He’s funny, a protector, wants a family, blah blah, etc etc. I’m over here tryin to be open.

The major things that hit me and let me know that we’re just gonna be friends, are as follows:

*****side note**** In this situation, I believe he’s falling faster than me, which is problematic. I have a feeling I’m about to step on the brakes while he’s full steam ahead. It’s hard being sexy. j/king. ****end side note***

School… the negro ain’t at any. Now he did go but currently he’s taking a semester off and will go back in the fall. Maybe he will, maybe he won’t. For some, this may be enough but in the family I was raised, education is important. Education is not only “book learnin” but I believe you gain some life skills in college. I do acknowledge that school isn’t for everyone. He did mention that he like to do Auto Body and Collision work, that’s cool…get in trade school! I believe that if you don’t know, at least be in school while you’re trying to figure it out *sigh*

Goal incongruence… Professionaly, he don’t know. Family wise, he wants to start on kids by 25…umm not with me buddy, I got things to do. He asked me about mine, and I gave him my speil. Corporate america for 7yrs tops, then on to do my entrepreneurial thang. I told him bout how, when your younger, 25 seems so old but now, it’s really too young for me to be thinking about having a family. Heck, I’ll 24 the summer I graduate from undergrad *yes I took the 6yr plan LOL* I told him about wanting to be married by like 27 and to be starting my business and that I probably wouldn’t be having children any time soon. But I also told him, plans change, flexibility is key.

Job…he ain’t got one. I think he details cars every now and then. He went for an interview yesterday and whatnot. I understand being unemployed, heck I was up until 2yrs ago. But I need to ask how long he’s held previous jobs. You can tell a little about a persons discipline and work ethic by how long they can keep a job.

2 1/2 yr relationship…One night this negro said he didn’t believe in love. I asked him why. He said that he was in a 2 1/2 yr relationship and the girl, after 2 1/2 yrs, said she just wanted to be friends. That was 7 months ago. If he even acknowledges that baggage that comes along with that, 7months is not enough time to heal and move on from something you’ve been apart of for 2 1/2 yrs.

Finally,

Distance…*shakin head* I should know better. It didn’t work with my last boyfriend *whole notha post and I doubt ya’ll will get it* The last boyfriend, of oh 3months, was in AL…not cool. I’m coming to realize I need somebody in my city. Mr. Savannah is well…in Sav. Again, not cool. Once I like somebody, I get attached. I can’t just kick it with him on a friday night on a whim, nah, I got to plan weeks in advance to see him…not cool holmes.

In this case, I believe I have sound evidence that proves that friendship is as far as this should go. That’s assuming we can even be friends. I will probably be back next weekend with an overly emotional post about how I wished this could work. Please ignore that one, cause that just my flesh fighting with my spirit. The eternal war.

But you know, God’s got my back. Nobody is perfect but when God does place that special someone in my life, I’ll know.

Serenity