Next Evolution

So the code level was still Orange by the time I left yesterday. My flight was at 3:42pm…my aunt and uncle got me to the airport 2hrs early…it’s AR.

So I check in, get my boarding pass and head for security *extreme chuckle* Security was one older white lady checkin your ticket against your boarding pass. Then you head to the ONE metal screener they have. I went through “security” in 5min. Only 2hrs to go! lol. So I head downstairs, after buying a bottle of water I’d just have to throw away, and make my way through a sea of white folks who try not to stare but can’t help it. I can hear them now “who’s that black girl with the afro puffs…is she lost?” lol.

I make my way to the back so I can prop my feet up. So far I’d only spotted one other black man, who I think moved to the back with me to take a nap…strempf in numbers! lol. I pulled out my book, set my phone on vibrate *didn’t wanna scare them with ole Gnarles* and plugged into my ipod. That’s how I spent my 2hrs. They called for boarding and magically two other black women appeared! Now there’s three and we’re all going to the ATL.

By this point, the plane was not a shock. I boarded and a black lady with dreads was sitting next to me. I plugged into the ipod and the stewardess said the most delightful sentence…”passagners we have some empty seats. You can move before take off.” Then the miracle occured, the black lady got up and moved and I got to sit by my lonesome on the way back…good times . I put on my socks *the air vents on the floor* and settled in. The flight was relatively smooth, I again wondered at God’s creations and we landed relatively smoothly into a very busy airport. They switched our gate so we rolled in the airplane for at least 15min, looking for a “parking space” lol.

I was so tired of sitting that I decided to walk from Concourse C alllll the way to baggage claim. Mistake because by Concouse A, I was a lil tired but I’m soldier *pounding chest…wheezing* I made it to baggage claim and there were 9 turning thingies. So I started looking at each one for my flight number and couldn’t find it. After circling all 9 twice, getting some interesting looks, and talkin myself out of standing in a very long line, I finally just asked a luggage guy. I was like “Excuse me, I was looking for Fayettville AR but all I’m seeing is Fayettvill NC. Would you know where my luggage would be?” The older gentleman looks up and says “oh, that’s usually on 1 or 2″.. I say thank you and wonder at how he can remember with such specifity *think I just made that up* Anywho, as I’m walking back toward 1, I start to wonder what the old man was reading. I look to my right and then UP……………………………..there is a BIG ASS BOARD at least two bill boards in length listing the flight number, city and baggage claim terminal number. I immediately deemed myself stoopid! My momma always tells me I have a problem looking up! lol..can’t help it, i guess I expect everything to be eye-level or below but that’s unrealistic seeing as I barely clear 5′2. *shrug*

So I hop over to the baggage claim terminal and push maneuver my way to the front and watch the bags as they go round and round. I soon spotted my one case and politely shoved moved a young child out my way. I finally caught my luggage *they move faster than you think* and was giving it a good tug to get it over everyone else’s as I swung wide and nearly toppled an old lady. It was in slow motion…I heaved and hoed, swung, it tapped her around the knee area and she swayed a bit and gave me the ugliest look! Didn’t say anything…she just looked at me and I had witnesses! I was so embarassed. I let out an audible gasp, my eyes got wide, and all I could manage to say was “I’m sorry. I’m sooooooooooooo sorry”, over and over as I set my luggage down and ran/walked away, all the while thinking that I just earned 3 more points on my hell ticket.

My mother picked me up, I threw my luggage in the trunk and collapsed in the front seat saying “I hit an ole lady with my luggage. I’m going to hell”. We proceeded to dinner where I told her of my trip with hand signals and animated facial expressions while stuffing my face with cheese biscuits.

Welcome to Atlanta, may you be blind as a bat and hit old ladies with luggage!

Serenity

I was just sitting here reading other people’s blogs and decided to write a lil sumthin sumthin.

The Flight to Arkansas,

Lawd Jeebus. They call to board…I’m the only black person on a fully booked 56 passenger plane…the only other people of color are two older East Indian women. So I enter the gate, go down a set of steps and out onto the tarmac…sign #1. Then I look to my left and see this plane and immediately say “you kiddin me right?”…sign#2. So I make my way up the steps and am so distracted by the smallness of the plane, that I don’t even hear the stewardess asking if I went to the college I was so proudly repping. I was distracted because there was only 14rows on this plane, with two seats on each side and you had to take your bag off your shoulder or you’d be clockin people in the head as you passed.

I was row 10, seat C by the window. I was cool cause I didn’t see anybody in the seat next to me…sign #3. So as I approach I see this hefty white man come out the bathroom, and you know how you just KNOW that person is going to sit next to you…well yeah. His name was Tim, Jim, John..sumthin and he was from Florida and going to AR b/c he was thinking of buying a house out there. Then he asked the obvious question…why are you going to AR? I smiled and said “My cousin” and proceeded to put on my ipod but that was no deterrent. He went on to tell me that he’d had a couple of beers before he boarded and then proceeded to worry the heck out of the flight attendant…he was a borderline ass. I don’t know how she stood it!

So we get on our way. I was loving the ascent because I like going fast! *psst come closer* I secretly want to be a stunt driver *back away now* Then we leveled off and I was completely absorbed with the clouds and the land below. I even took pictures! So we began to have some turbulance…sign #4. I was like “no..I’m in a cropduster..I will not be tossed about!”…I got tossed. The flight attendant lady had just passed out our drinks and thank goodness I’d chosen sprite! We went through a rough patch and I bounced in my seat and managed to soak my feet *I was wearing flip flops*. Good times. We experienced a lil more but not as bad and we thankfully landed smoothly.

We make it off the plane and into 300 degree past hell heat. Once inside the airport I decide to use the bathroom b/c I didn’t know how long a ride I had to Fayetteville…sign #5. I make a beeline for the lavatory, dodgeing rolling backpacks and luggage with great agility! I’m checking my messages as I head to the stall, and while the phone is cradled b/t my shoulder and ear, I’m hanging my carryon on the nice little hook they provide. All of the sudden I hear “Becky” go “Oh my” or something to that extent. Next thing you know, I see rushing water headed my way! As I curse like a sailor, the dirty toilet water flows over my bare feet and soaks the hem of my jeans. DO NOT WEAR FLIP FLOPS WHILE FLYING! I rush out of the stall and fling my flip flops with great force into the bathroom sink…people just stare…not help…just stare. Oh did I mention I was THE only BLACK PERSON in AR airport. So I wash off my flip flops and feet and dry them via hand dryer. Then I manage to get my leg propped up at an adequate angle to dry my jeans.

Welcome to Arkansas, may your cup spilleth over and your toilet overflow!

My return flight was much better but I’ll do that in a seperate post…

Serenity