Think to much.
Lord deliver.
Serenity J. Peace
wanted to lose the last piece of your natural mind in effort to help alleviate some stress…but you don’t know if you’d come back or if you’d do something you would regret?
That’s me right now.
See, I’m having the whole control issue thing right now. I know what it is and I must name it. CONTROL…and my seeming lack thereof.
Things I can’t control but would like to:
1. my mother and her fiance in relationship to me. I cannot control when they wake up and start talking LOUDLY at 6am, therefore waking me. I can “request” that they show courtesy..but control..no.
2. my “friend” and his coming to see me. See alot of our “friendship” hinges on him coming to see me. He doesn’t know that…but I know. That’s a whole nutha blog.
3. My romantic life. I was talking to my friend H and she said plain an simple “I believe that you don’t go looking for your man, that he is sent to you”…it made sense and made me wanna chill cause she was just sent a very nice one.
Things I can control:
1. My reaction. My mother and fiance…pray and invest in some more earplugs…the ones I have aren’t that comfortable anymore.
2. My weight. A big source of unhappiness for me is my body image. I’ve had issues with this from elementary. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if I’d been taunted by schoolmates b/c of course screw them. But alas my father was the culprit *I coulda swore I forgave him…I did, but the tape is still playing* Damn tape. *running for the treadmill*
3. Self Love. I must love me…all of me..right down the stretchmarks…gonna take some time.
4. Stress Level. I gotta stop letting things get to me. That’s apart of the whole control thing. I stress over things I can’t control when I should really just let that mess go.
Bottom line. Stopping taking back things I’ve already turned over to God. I’ve prayed on my home life, romantic life, physical fitness, schooling etc. and asked God to lead me. I must let this stuff go and do what I can do. No more, no less. If you ain’t happy, change it.
Serenity
