This is my tale! Grab a bag of chips, take a break from the grill, I’m finna tell you about my weekend in Mississippi!

Thursday Evening:
By 6pm we’d gassed (sp?) up the car and hit the highway! My cousin was sooo anxious to get out of town she was a big ball of energy. I myself was a little pooped so I just went to into “calm serenity” mode. I just was…After awhile, she calmed down too and I was thankful for that. The trip getting there was uneventful just VERY LONG. See, I’m used to being able to drive some of the trip so it doesn’t seem that long but I’m not on my cuz’s insurance so I had to sit 6 hours….Jesus wept! So boring. But I did get hipped to an album I slept on. Will Smith’s *stop laughing* Lost and Found album was actually kind of good. Reallly, stop laughing! *wondering if her black card will be suspended…again*
That night we stayed at the Inn at Ole Miss, it was beautiful. The bed was to DIE FOR. I slept like a baby!

Friday and night:

The next morning my cuz went and did her thing and suggested that while she was gone, I go wander the campus. So I get dressed and curse the fact that I didn’t bring any shorts. I was summer appropriate though and thought I’d be fine. I gather my camera, room key etc and hit the lobby. I walk through the sliding glass doors and immediately start repenting! I broke a sweat by the time I hit the end of the driveway and I wasn’t even walkin fast! MS got that SLAVE HEAT! Had me singing old negro spirituals!

I do my photo thing all the while takin numerous calls wishing me a happy bday! :-) About 45min into all of this I’m wondering where the devil is the student union so I can get some H2O. I wandered into another courtyard area and saw these blessed words “Ole Miss Student Union”. I scrambled up the steps and as I yanked open the door a blast of cool air hit me with such force, the angels began to sing “Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” I went in and soaked up as much free air and water and decided that was the end of my touring ole miss.

I take it back to the hotel room where I meet up with my cousin and check out. Earlier I’d told my mom about the Live Cam’s they have on campus that broadcast everything in real time. So we wander off to find one so my momma can see me since I’ve been gone for two months. It was hilarious trying to figure out what side of the library courtyard it was broadcasting. I’m talking into the phone like “ok, so do you see a red dress…how about that pack of white girls in the corner!” Eventually we found it and I spent the next 10min looking suspect talkin on my cell, and waving and spinning around for the camera! lol. I know the people inside the library was like “she doing too much! She needs to sit down somewhere!” Hmph, I don’t care! I was talkin to my momma! Ya’ll can kick rocks!

Now it’s time to take this party on the road. We are headed to Jackson, MS which is 2hrs away from our current position. But first, we must feed the beast aka my stomach. My cuz suggests Cracker Barrel and I’m like cool, haven’t been there in forever. We get seated, everything is copasetic, I even had a waiter checkin me out! I order a chicken salad sammich cause i don’t want anything too heavy cause it IS 10 degrees hotter than hell outside. The waitress brings me my order and this is the WORST lookin stuff I’ve ever seent, you can tell it was made by some white people! *no offense…I like white people* My chicken salad should not look white..it should have some coloring…lay off the mayo and salad dressing. I promptly sent it back without even touching it and went with a burger WELL DONE. My cuz just looked at me and shook her head. I was like “what it’s my bday, I’m payin for it, and I’m NOT finna eat that mess. I couldn’t even bring myself to touch it!” Needless to say, I got clowned the rest of the trip!

We make it to Jackson without incident. We meet up with my cuz’s boo at their old alma mater, Tougaloo. My cuz wanted to get some school gear so we proceeded to the bookstore hoping these negros hadn’t closed. They closed at 4pm, it was 4:30 but luckily they were still there. After explaining we’d drove allllllllllllll the wayyyyyyyyyyyy from AR for this, they let us in…gotta love that exaggeration! This is when I knew I was close to home. Gotta love my people. The man had already shut down the register, so he asked my cuz if she had cash, she said no. He told her that if she got some cash, the WHOLE STORE was on discount just for her. I’ve been in AR so long that my negro speak hadn’t kicked in right then, plus his patnah was staring me down and starting to drool a lil bit. He looked a lil ‘touched’ in the head. Anyway, my cuz got the cash and came back and SHOPPED! lol Her total was like $30 and the man was like “you want this bag. you know you want it! you don’t need any change! I’ll throw this in for $10!’ My cuz said yeah and he proceeded to calculate her tab on his scientific calculator! lol. He bagged her stuff, took the money and put it in her pocket saying “my baby need some new shoes!” I bout died laughing! My people, gotta love ‘em!

This is when my cuz started sippin that crazy juice! Her and her boo wanted to take me on a walking tour of the campus. SCRRRRRRRRREEEEEECCCH. A walkin what, of where, in THIS HEAT!. Umm nah patnah. So they went on their merry way and I kicked it in the car with A/C. I rode around a lil bit to keep it cool but that’s about it! Just say no to heat stroke *public service announcement brought to you by serenitydon’twannadie life preservation foundation*

We finally make it to the hotel and check in. My cousin and her boo go off to be all mushy and whatnot and leave me to my sanity. *le sigh* This was the bootleg part of the trip. They advertised wireless internet and I got all happy cause I fully intended on updating ya’ll as we went. Ummm clearly not from my lack of posting. The only complaint about the room was the nasty fridge that NOBODY came to clean and the ruff towels that nearly took my skin off but other than that, we got what we paid for and we working the mess out that AAA discount! Back to the “wireless” internet. I call down to the desk and the lady informs me that it may be a better signal in the lobby. I make my way down there…did I mention we were on the 3rd floor and it was like walkin through the 3rd ring of hell because all the heat rose to our floor….and did I also mention they put us on the floor with some kind of athletic team full of youngster….annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd did I mention that all of ‘em were bebe’s kids…well if I didn’t, I just did! lol I made it to the lobby, eventually, cause I swear they were trying to conserve enery by setting the elevator speed at the lowest possible setting. I plug up my laptop and proceed to get on the net, the signal is excellent and i’m wondering why msn isn’t pulling up. So I run my diagnostic and it says that I’m connected to them, but they aren’t connected to the net. I inform the lady and she was like yeah “it be messin up and I used to go back there and unplug and plug it back in but I don’t feel like doing that”. Ok, everybody take a time out with me *throwing up my T-sign* Did she just tell me she wasn’t going to ATTEMPT to fix it. She lost major cool points. Did she just tell me that although she’s providing a service I’m paying for, that she won’t fix it. See, I was trying NOT to be all stereotypical and whatnot but she BECAME boonqueesha off that mess right thurrrrr. *timeout over* I walked away, packed up my stuff and took my behind upstairs. I think I watched some cable and nodded off.

My cuz calls me about 7:45pm saying dinner is set at On the Border for 8/8:30 and that they’re coming to get me! I’m super excited cause it’s my bday dinner/getting to know my cuz’s friend’s dinner.

[maybe I should have warned ya’ll this was gonna be long…hmmmmmm, I think I’ll break it up since we still have saturday and sunday to go!]

I do the wonderwoman and get all cute! Babydoll waist shirt with nice scoop neckline, cute jeans, a headscarf to die for with my poof free flowing out the top, dangling earrings! I opted not to take a purse, I.D. and bankcard were all that was needed! Yesss sirrr! So who knew that On the Border became the club…lawd hab mercy! It was PACKED. We had a friend holding a large table out on the patio. Now WHY were we on the patio in 20 degree past hell weather? I’on know. All I can say is that I kept a menu to fan with the WHOLE night. I met some good, cool, down to earth, sho nuff people that night! One of my cuz’s friends renamed the waitress Pookie… eventually the whole table was like “aye, aye pookie, can we get *insert famous black people hook up here* I had my Amoretto sours (2)…I got one free for my bday! Yesssss! I DID NOT put Tequila in it this time! lol Did I tell ya’ll that story…yeah I did don’t remember where though *shrug* We took pics and then dispursed! We had to take one of T’s (my cuz’s boo) friend’s home. He had a pool table and a good sound system! Nuff said. Now I’m not the best, not even a good pool player but my cuz turned over the stick to me. *shakin head* I would love to play well, matter of fact, my dad doesn’t know it, but I’m about to take over his pool table in the basement. I guess I was kinda pitiful cause T’s friend came in to give me a couple pointers. At one point he was like “I would wrap around you but I’m still funky from work”…I ain’t gone lie , he was cute, and I was thinking “funk aint’ neva killed nobody, all I smell is your cologne!” I know I ain’t right! lol I did get better at pool though, so people need to watch out! Serenity coming to town *chalkin her que stick*

Whew, to be continued!

Serenity