for my Boaz.

I sense change on the horizon.

My personal outlook on life has changed over this summer. Alot of people didn’t understand why I had to go away for the summer…and to Arkansas of all places. I’m slowly beginning to realize it myself. I’m different. Didn’t realize that until I was put in situations that, 3 months ago, I would have handled extremely differently. And to think I started to doubt if any growth had taken place while I was away.

There is one aspect of my life in which I learned a great lesson this summer. I had several opportunities to relate to men with no pressure. You know how you meet someone and it’s like “oh will this turn into something? Does he like me? and all the other female questions we tend to mull over in the first 10secs of meeting someone. I had the opportunity to say “hey, I’m only here for the short term so it doesn’t even matter. Approach this in terms of friendship”. Let me tell ya, it took the pressure off. It was an invaluable experience learning how to just chill. No expectations, just chill, take it for what it is.

My former self would sit here going “why hasn’t he called? did I make a fool out of myself.”. Instead I sit here and am thankful for the experience and know that the season has passed. It is very true that people are put into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime and it’s important realize in which category a person should reside.

I don’t know if I’m making any sense right now but that’s okay.

Getting back to the point of this post…
I realized two things:
1.) he that FINDETH a wife, finds a good thing. I think sometimes we, or I, get so caught up in the “hook me up with somebody” or the chase that we forget that men seek and find. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have an active roll but sometimes we need to sit back and just be.
2.) While we sometimes need to sit back, it doesn’t mean that we are inactive. In fact, this is the time we should use to prepare ourselves to be the best helpmeets we can. This includes finding out who you are and becoming secure in it. Developing your passions and talents. Finding out what makes you tick. Loving yourself. Dealing with your issues. I think that until you discover all of those things about yourself, you can’t possibly add someone else to that equation.

Again, I don’t know if I’m making any sense but that’s okay. I know, we as bloggers, get caught up in writing for other people but I needed to get these thoughts out in print. I pledge to look at this post whenever I start to lose my mind, cause you know I know I will ;-) As long as I keep my focus on being the best me I can be, the wait for my Boaz may not seem so long.

*raising my glass* To the Journey

Serenity